Canada Elections: Justin “Zoolander” Trudeau as Wile E. Coyote

There is a French term “fils a papa” for a guy whose main asset in life is the reputation of his bigshot father. There is also the slang neologism “himbo” for a male bimbo: a good-looking, feather-brained guy.

Justin son of Pierre Trudeau — a.k.a. Derek Zoolander at Insty’s — fits both stereotypes to a tee, and what he lacks in IQ he overcompensates in woke sanctimoniousness. Somehow he managed to become PM of Canada — then in 2019, the Canadians realized that even their famous niceness has limits beyond which it should not be pushed, and he lost his majority. However, he continued to run the country with a minority government — continuing to make a pig’s breakfast of things and be a general embarrassment. The only reason he isn’t the biggest laughing stock of the West is FICUS Joe Biden.

Pretty much all of us remember the too-clever-by-half schemes of Wile E. Coyote in the Bugs Bunny cartoons. The scheme this time was to call a snap election, in the hope that the electorate would give him a majority “mandate” for his woke-left agenda. But unlike South of the border, in Canada you need a valid ID card to vote — you can’t just stuff ballots, have people vote repeatedly, have “undocumented immigrants” vote,… So you actually have to convince voters to seal the deal.

And that apparently didn’t work so well. In fact, several key ministers, including the “useful idiot” who called the Taliban “our brothers”, lost their parliamentary seats, as did the leader of the Green Party. Overall the situation in parliament is basically the same as before, Wile E. Coyote still short of a majority. The Conservatives led by Erin O’Toole actually pulled the largest percentage of the popular vote (34.0%, vs. 32.2% for Zoolander’s [il]Liberals), but placed “first past the post” in just 119 “ridings”, as electoral districts are called in Canada.

(CBC election map, with 99% of votes called)

Note, by the way, a classic illustration of the “regionally dominant” exception to Duverger’s Law: despite pulling less than half the popular vote of the New Democrats, the Bloc Québecois actually ends up with more seats in parliament (as it is the de facto majority party in Québec, and probably close to nonexistent outside — cf. the Scottish National Party and the Welsh nationalists of Plaid Cymru in the UK).

Meanwhile, Zoolander/Coyote is claiming he “has a clear mandate“. He’s clearly been smoking his own supply.

I think I’ve found what should have been Trudeau’s campaign song – performed by Papa Pat Patterson’s favorite Canadian band.

“You know the dealer, the dealer is a man
With the love grass in his hand
Oh but the pusher is a monster
Good God, he’s not a natural man
The dealer for a nickel
Lord, he’ll sell you lots of sweet dreams
Ah, but the pusher ruin your body
Lord, he’ll leave your, he’ll leave your mind to scream
[…]
But the pusher don’t care
Ah, if you live or if you die….”

One thought on “Canada Elections: Justin “Zoolander” Trudeau as Wile E. Coyote

  1. Actually the Bloc Quebecois is not the “de facto” majority party in Quebec. It won 33 seats to the Liberal ‘s 34 seats (out of 75), and 32.1% of the votes cast to 33.6$ for the Liberals (in the Province of Quebec). I believe its party constitution prohibits it from running candidates outside of the province. Lastly; while electoral districts have been frequently referred to as “ridings”, burrowed from the term used in Britain, that has never been the official designation.

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