What happened to “Marie-Claire”?

The other day, somebody forwarded a link to the US edition of “Marie-Claire”, a veteran French women’s mag focusing on fashion, the working woman, etc. The French magazine I knew growing up was about as racy as, say, the Ladies Home Journal.

Looking at the sidebar, I was astonished to find this article by a woman named Pamela Druckerman (American, married to a Briton, living in Paris). She asked her husband what he would want for his special 40th birthday present: His answer was “a threesome” (them with another woman). She then describes in detail how she agreed on condition that she could pick the woman; how she went about selecting her; and how the encounter itself proceeded. (The description is fairly SFW and somewhat humorous: the best part was where after 40 minutes she wondered if she should check her Email.) Husband was apparently extremely pleased, but she decided once was enough. (The “other woman” was interested in a repeat performance, but appears to have been recruited on a website for enthusiasts for this sort of thing.)

My two cents worth:

  • The relentless media push to “mainstream” unorthodox sexual combinations continues apace.
  • I would not want to feed all straight males who’ve fantasized about being with two women. However, neither would I want to feed all the straight males who simply don’t get that some fantasies are best kept fantasies. (And I rather doubt that the idea — also relentlessly pushed by the celebri-fashion media culture — of many women having bisexual tendencies has any basis outside male fantasy.)
  • I seriously wonder if, having let that “djinn” out of the bottle, they can put it back in. Intellectually philosophizing about “sharing” your partner is one thing: being able to handle it emotionally is another.
  • While the French did invent the very term “ménage à trois”, it actually refers to a 3-way long-term relationship — which even less people would be able to handle emotionally.
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2 thoughts on “What happened to “Marie-Claire”?

  1. New Class Traitor said:
    “The relentless media push to ‘mainstream’ unorthodox sexual combinations continues apace”

    Indeed.

    A very close friend of mine is a 30-ish-year-old woman who is very attractive and works in a hipster/young-urban job. For her entire life she’s been “straight,” but is one of those people who always picks horrible “boyfriends” who generally treat her like dirt, even though she does nothing to “deserve” it.

    Well, after a recent breakup with yet another creep, (as she reported to me in a very awkward conversation), she had been hanging out with a female friend/colleague and bemoaning her relationship woes, while they both sipped wine. Her colleague was gay, and as the conversation progressed, her colleague’s commiseration about how horrible men are as partners slowly shifted into how wonderful women are as partners, which progressed to “I’ve always been attracted to you,” and by the time the bottle was empty, they were in bed together. It was my friend’s first lesbian experience. She said she agreed to it partly because there was so much pressure in her social scene to be bisexual or at least show your solidarity by “experimenting” yourself that she said she would have felt like an uptight square conservative or a hypocrite if she had said no to a same-sex encounter.

    While the experience itself, while it was happening, seemed (according to her) “OK, I guess,” she said that at least she now knew for absolute positive that she was straight, since the more she thought about the encounter, the less “OK” it felt.

    A week later, my friend insisted on another coffee-klatch, and this time she was in tears. She said that as the days passed, she had become more and more upset and (her word) “nauseated” by what she had done. And the situation was exasperated when her colleague started insisting they repeat the experience, and began calling my friend her “girlfriend.” When my friend turned down the offer of a repeat encounter, and instead said she was looking for a boyfriend, not a girlfriend, her colleague went ballistic and starting screaming at her and crying and hurling all sorts of accusations.

    Now my friend is in an awful mental state, and keeps asking herself, “Why did I DO that with her???” I point out that it was due to social attitudes and peer pressure, as she herself had confessed to me, but now, strangely, she downplays that reason, and instead has gone into a downward spiral of low self-esteem, calling herself “stupid” and “cruel” and “a slut.”

    There’s no real conclusion or moral to this story, but it makes me wonder: How often has a similar scenario played out in young people’s lives over the last several years, when pressure to engage in “sexual experimentation” has become mainstreamized in Western society?

    Once you have sex, you can never un-have sex. And once you have sex that you don’t want to have, the memory and the trauma can be impossible to shake off.

  2. Freud once said that celibacy is the only true sexual perversion, or something like that. That might be true but celibacy also reduces life’s complications by about 80%.

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